Hey guys. Time for a book review.
And this time it’s gonna be something new.
(Hey, that rhymed. Weird.)

This book is not from the favorites list,
But I didn’t want this review to be missed.
(Whoa. That rhymed again.)

The Lost Symbol, a new book by Dan Brown.
I’m gonna review it. How does that sound?

Okay, who am I, LoFiChuck?
Seriously, what the f--?

(Music starts)

You’ve got to be kidding me.
Well, here comes something you may not want to see.

So!
Bobby Langdon, he’s a real smart guy.
He teaches at Harvard and he doesn’t wear a tie.
Tweed jacket, pair of loafers, and turtleneck sweater.
But hang on there, ladies, it gets even better.
When it comes to symbols, he knows his stuff,
And as if all of that weren’t enough,
He’s explored all the deepest mysteries
Of the cities of Rome, London, and Paris,
Uncovering secrets, breaking barriers down,
In two previous novels by Dan Brown.

Hey!
Incidentally, this video rap
Is a response to some driving sap
Who reviewed the Langdon trilogy
And found a number of similarities
Between the three separate stories that Dan Brown wrote,
And this driving reviewer makes a point of noting
That this latest story isn’t all that new.
Links in the sidebar, now back to the review.

Now!
That he’s exhausted Europe’s mysteries,
Dan Brown focuses on his own country.
Washington DC, to be specific,
Where symbols are numerous and prolific.
Langdon comes with the intention of talking (a lot),
And then finds himself part of a fiendish plot
Of a mysterious, tattoo-covered man
Who’s kidnapped his friend, Peter Soloman,
A Mason of the thirty-third degree,
A man with a lot of secrets, see.
Now, Langdon has to save his friend,
In order to do so, he’ll have to send
His kidnapper to a place, way down
Where secrets and treasures lay under the ground.
And now old Langdon’s getting pissed,
‘Cause he doesn’t believe such a place exists.

Oh!
Before I go on, I gotta ask
How is it that Langdon always gets these tasks
That tend to put his life at risk
And put him in a horrible fix?
I mean, how much can one guy do?
Okay, I’m done. Now, back to the review.

So!
I still like Angels and Demons the best.
With Da Vinci Code, I was less impressed.
I enjoyed Lost Symbol, in the end,
But the books seem to be on a downward trend.
It’s the first of Dan Brown’s books that missed
Getting added to the favorites list,
So I’ll tell you what I didn’t like ‘bout what he wrote,
So we can end this rap on a positive note.

Right!
As I predicted in a previous review,
It’s the same damn story as books one and two!
The only real difference is the location.
He’s exploring the mysteries of this nation.
But the characters and even the plot,
This book’s got the same as the others have got.

Agent Sato? A female rehash
Of Officers Ollivetti and Fache.
The tattooed man is a bizarre blend
Of the Albino and our creepy assassin friend.
And has anyone noticed, besides me,
That Langdon has fallen for a total three
Copies of the same brunette woman
That we always meet and never hear from again?

And as for the plot, it’s still the same
With Langdon playing this guessing game
And unraveling the mystery
As he goes from scene to familiar scene.
Then we get to the end and . . . hey look,
There are still fifty pages left in the book,
‘Cause there’s still a bunch that he didn’t explain,
But to tell you the truth, it’s kind of pain
To read through all that when the story’s done.
When reveal is gradual, it’s a lot more fun.

And the major plot twist that we always see?
I figured it out by chapter fifty-three.
‘Cause I’ve read enough of Dan Brown’s lit
That I know when he’s pulling this kind of s***.

But!
Now on to the things that I enjoyed
So you haters out there won’t get annoyed.
After learning stuff about Paris, London, and Rome,
It was nice to learn about things from here at home,
To look at the world of the Masons,
And the things they believe about our nation.
And although its placement was kind of grating,
The last fifty pages were fascinating:
Another perspective on history
And speculations on the mysteries
Of our mind, thoughts, and dreams, and how they relate
To religion, mythology, and mankind’s fate.
And the message, like the other books in kind,
Just reminding us to keep an open mind.

So!
Overall, I liked the book,
And I may even give it a second look.
It’s not a favorite, but that’s okay,
I think you should read it anyway.
But please do read the other two first,
Because of the three, this one’s still the worst.
So, now I’m gonna stop this ridiculous rhyme
By saying buh-bye now, see you next time.