Come gather ‘round children, I tell you a story
Of a battle that raged on for many a year.
Both sides wanted honor and both wanted glory
And both sides were forces that many did fear.
On one side, the sea-faring bandits and thieves;
On the other, the black-clothed killing machines.
It started out ghastly and bloody and gory
And ended with the tale that you’re going to hear.

One black day, a war-weary pirate did wander
Through the carnage and blood-spattered field of war.
Twelve years of fighting, and he was no fonder
Of the enemy ninja than he had been before.
Somehow or other he’d managed to survive,
And he said, “Arr, I must be the last one alive!”
He gave a slow sigh and then sat down to ponder
The battle that had started just twelve years before.

That fateful day, a pirate wandered to a tavern, old,
And ordered rums for everyone and paid with piles of gold.
A ninja sat with them, hidden well away from sight.
Then suddenly, the swords were drawn, and they began to fight.
No one knows how it began, and no one saw its end,
For they were bitter enemies, yet each had many friends.
The battle spread into the streets, the land, the sea, the sky,
And twelve years later a pirate captain is left to wonder why.

The air is hung thick with the taste of men’s folly,
The stale smell of death and the ripe smell of blood,
Ground covered with feathers from bright birds named Polly,
And peg legs and nunchucks and many a black hood.
The pirate stood slowly and, facing the sun,
Gave a great barking laugh and said, “I guess I’ve won!”
Then out of the rubble he saw someone crawl, he
Was dressed all in black from his head to his foot.

“Hark!” called the pirate, his eyes widened slightly,
“I think we’re the only ones left on this field!”
The ninja looked at him, came to his feet lightly,
And gave a small nod, though his lips remained sealed.
They were the last pirate and ninja that night,
And so said the pirate, “Let’s finish this fight!”
The ninja said nothing, but knew he spoke rightly,
For neither the pirate nor ninja would yield.

The pirate’s hand when to his belt and soon his swords were drawn.
But barely had he looked up than the man in black was gone.
The air hung thick with tension as he looked around in fright,
And suddenly, the ninja pounced, and they began to fight.
The pirate yelled, “A clever trick, but not clever enough, I say!”
His two swords clashed against his one, determined to make him pay.
“I should expect not one whit less from a ninja such as you!”
The ninja didn’t speak, because ninjas never do.

Instead he leapt and somersaulted high into the air,
He landed feet away and found a sword’s point waiting there.
The pirate bared his yellowed teeth, his swords were all a-blur,
Slashing, jabbing, coming round, his aim was true and sure.
“Come on!” he yelled, “Stand still, why don’t you! Fight me like a man!”
In silent answer, the ninja kicked the swords right from his hand.
A roundhouse kick, a jab, the pirate ducked it just in time.
They now fought hand-in-hand while dancing through the blood and grime.

The ninja grabbed the pirate, threw him hard upon the ground,
And pointed swords directly where the pirate’s heart was found.
The pirate swung a peg leg right into the ninja’s head,
And as the ninja staggered ‘round, the pirate rose and said,
“You may have nimble moves, but I have cunning, wit, and clout,
Yet still I cannot fathom what we’ve been fighting about.”
The ninja grabbed his sword, preparing for another stab,
And said in raspy tones, “You bastards left us with the tab!”

They both fought with honor and gusto and courage,
They fought with each other well into the night.
By full moon’s light silhouettes clash, shadows merge,
And neither showed signs of conceding the fight.
The essence of nimbleness, cold strength, and stealth,
And the epitome of misbegotten wealth,
The both got together for one final skirmish
And so it continued ‘til the pale morning light.

Instrumental Interlude (during which there will be fighting)

Then suddenly with an echoing clatter, fit to wake the dead,
The pirate’s slashing swords fell to the floor.
The captain sighed and looked straight at the ninja, and he said,
“I just can’t go on fighting anymore.
I yield, good ninja, I surrender, I bow before the blade,
For I never knew what I was fighting for.
Just one request: unmask yourself and let me see your face,
The kill me quick, and let us end this war!”

The ninja stood silent and still as the night
As the pirate knelt bravely awaiting his end.
It could be a trick, this uncommon sight,
And yet, his own mask ninja prepared to rend.
The dawn’s light shone dim on the now exposed face.
The pirate sat dumb as he stared at the place
Where a female ninja stood, lovely and mighty.
She opened her mouth and she spoke the word, “Friend.”

“Friend, just like you, I am turned of this war,
And if you can make peace with a ninja like I,
Then I cannot kill you, and shall kill no more.
Let us go off together and strengthen this tie.”
The pirate and ninja walked together in the light,
Put their old lives behind them, including their fight.
And next year, the first ninja pirate was born,
And the pirate and ninja sang this lullaby.

“All we are saying is give ninja/pirate peace a chance.
All we are saying is give ninja/pirate peace a chance.”

‘Course, it’s just a story from my imagination.
It never really happened, and probably never will.
But it is my hope that the pirate/ninja nation
Can put aside their stubborn urges to kill.
Perhaps they can forget their old enmity
And suspend their mutual animosity.
Or perhaps I’m an old fool in need of sedation,
But this is my dream, and so dream it I will.